a happy soul

so tonight I took the Metro North train over to a town called Rye- adorable by the way- to eat (cute lil spot called "Cosi" and managed to absolutely butcher the title of what I was ordering and made a complete fool out of myself but oh well) and do some much overdue God time. (thanks mom) i was reading in the old testament about those dang Israelites and how they just couldn't seem to get rid of those idols even when they knew they were a bad idea. This got me thinking- has my happiness become an idol? do i want to go to church because of what it will do for me? do I want to spend time with God because it makes me feel better about myself? it's clear that as far as the Israelites, God wanted them 100% to himself. no idols, no compromises. I know that the Bible is full of people who didn't do this- all of them actually, but that doesn't change the fact that it's what is asked of us. since when do I think that I deserve to be "happy?" and what is happiness, anyway, if not a feeting emotional response to getting what you want? shouldn't I instead be searching for Joy? Joy that's found in Christ ALONE? Joy that is not situational so does not depend on a good situation? In church, pastor terry read some thing that said everymorning you should read the Bible not to become a better person, not to preach, not to fulfill a duty, but to get a happy soul.
so tonight that's what I decided. I'm going to throw out the whole being happy here deal.
I'm going to find my joy in Christ, do what I can to make this place a home, and go confidently on my way.
plus, aunt allison says it takes 6 mo. to "like" a job. 4 days down!
christina