liquids and substances

so, yesterday I realized how very much my life has changed- in forms of substances I have come in contact with.
I was helping the 2 yr old eat his snack (he wanted chips and salsa to which I thought, hey what the heck! vegetables!) and he would get a chip in his mouth then freak out cause it was too big so I'd have to stick one of my digits in there and break up the chip. IN HIS MOUTH. I'm like a momma bird that has to reach in there and help him digest his food! it was one of those moments where you think, is this really my life?
So check one for children's spit
Then the 2 yr old has a cold so I have to wipe his nose every 30 seconds. So when I'm trying to feed him and have food all over my hand and reach over to wipe it on a napkin and YEP wrong one- wiped food all over snotty kleenex.
Check one for children's snot
Also under children's snot, we were walking to the library today and I had forgotten kleenex's and didn't want to use my sleeve or his sleeve so.... that's right people, I wiped his nose with my hand. then quickly wiped it on my pants and used this travel antibacterial stuff all over my hands.
Check two for children's snot.
ALSO, the milk we feed the baby is the mom's breast milk. So if it's contained in the bottle, then in the baby, no problem but is it? No. Let me tell you a little story called nipple-not-on-tight-enough. Oops, I just did :)
Check one for my Boss's breast milk
And does the breast milk stay in the baby! Hecks no! :) Although I read in this baby raising book that spit-ups happen if you don't burp the baby enough or improperly so it is my personal mission in life to burp so wonderfully that there are NO spitups, ever, but it happens sometimes, OK? i'm not perfect! ;)
anyway, so baby vomit CHECK!
Of course the obvious bodily functions as well, which we deal with every day- but those are the things I KNEW i'd be dealing with. no one told me that I'd be one with the bodily functions of the kids. Also, I find that a good chunk of the interactions between me and my bosses consists of which of these substances came out of them during the day.
Anyway, am I GLAD that free laundry comes with this job :)
Also, a side note towards the show "What Not To Wear"
They're always bashing on mothers who "don't have enough time" to get dressed and look nice/ shower/ wear makeup because they look horrible in public. well, i've got news for you, fashion nazis. Those mamas are right! sometimes i don't even have time to brush my teeth during the day! (well, that's a stretch, but i MAKE SURE to do it before I leave the house) I totally understand the haggard looking mom's, barely combing their hair before heading to the store.
Guilty!
plus, by the time you got back, you'd look like that anyway!
whew, what a workout! :)
love you all,
christina